i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
