Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
