I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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