I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
