When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Drake has all the answers
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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