everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
