butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Randomize
