I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
