i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
