i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
