areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just had sex on a roof
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
