Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
