Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
