Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize