Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
do herpes really smell.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
