I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
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