its not stalking. its research.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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