so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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