so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
