I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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