I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
