hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
