it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
