Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
pop tarts are not kleenex
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
