We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
