Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
