I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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