So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize