You smell like stripper and shame
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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