also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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