Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
