the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
