it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize