I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
