I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
