I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
