Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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