my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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