google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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