God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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