wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
