just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
this is an emotional support booty call
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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