how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
So vagazzling was a success
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
