There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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