He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
