Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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