Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
