"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My pussy is not your playground.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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