my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
be right there i have to get my cape
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
