you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
