billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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