i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
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