Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize