Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
