On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So much Jack, so little girl.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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