Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize