what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
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