So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
